So I found this rating of one of my stories.
I can't say that I blame them.
I'd do that story differently now, and I will.
I could explain why I did the story the way I did then, the concept I had, the plan... *manical laugh* THE PLAN!
I has such plans!
In those plans I forgot about having fun. I forgot about being satisfied with myself.
I ground myself down into dust.
So.. I accept. I'm not going to be great and famous by the force of my will. I might not be great and famous ever.
I might not have family the way I'd planned it.. the way I imagined it.
I have great family thought. I love writing my stories, making my art. Even if only a few people ever enjoy them other than myself... that's enough :)
So I want to re do The Pet.. from the very beginning.
I want to write the story without explicit sex.
There have been so many times in my life where I've traded sex in one form or another for what I wanted.
Sex for love.
Sex for safety.
Sex for the right to be able to love someone.
Sex for forgiveness.
Sex for roller skates.
I want to save sex... hide it away, treasure it until it flowers into something that only casts the slightest shadow over me now.