Monday, March 8, 2010

One Star

So I found this rating of one of my stories.
One star.

I can't say that I blame them.
I'd do that story differently now, and I will.

I could explain why I did the story the way I did then, the concept I had, the plan... *manical laugh* THE PLAN!

I has such plans!

In those plans I forgot about having fun. I forgot about being satisfied with myself.

I ground myself down into dust.

So.. I accept. I'm not going to be great and famous by the force of my will. I might not be great and famous ever.

I might not have family the way I'd planned it.. the way I imagined it.

I have great family thought.  I love writing my stories, making my art. Even if only a few people ever enjoy them other than myself... that's enough :)

So I want to re do The Pet.. from the very beginning.

I want to write the story without explicit sex.

There have been so many times in my life where I've traded sex in one form or another for what I wanted.

Sex for love.
Sex for safety.
Sex for the right to be able to love someone.
Sex for forgiveness.
Sex for roller skates.

I want to save sex... hide it away, treasure it until it flowers into something that only casts the slightest shadow over me now.

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